GS9 (![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} galaxysong9) wrote,@ 2009-06-26 22:29:00 |
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anyone got a copy of I'm Yours by Jason Mraz?
Holy shit guys I am a nervous wreck about the NHL draft. My hockey-philistine thoughts read pick with # and between round trades with -.
-Kaberle-for-Kessel fell through, and looks like nobody wants Heatley. Still no word on JayBouw. 90% sure Feds is going to the KHL -- I'm holding on to that 10% like a drowning man clinging to a piece of driftwood because when it's official I am going to weep buckets. No idea who we're gonna pick up, but Varlamov was 26th-ish, that's happy. On the other hand Datsyuk and Zetterberg were like 5th round 200th picks and look at them (HoFers).
-It warms my heart to hear Gary Bettman get booed. :D
1. John Tavares to New York Islanders. Not terribly surprised.
-But Lupul and Sbisa and 2 first round picks to Anaheim for Pronger and some guy named Dingle? Nooooo Lupes. And Sbisa is an adorable Italian boy. I like Pronger in Anaheim, boohoo. *tries not to show Flyers fanishness but can't fucking help it, I like the Flyers >P* Talk about lopsided, even if I'm not being pseudo-homery.
2. Victor Hedman to Tampa Bay Lightning. A 6'6" Swedish defenseman? Sign me up. Yum. Uh, I mean, good pick Tampa. :/ Lidstrom comparisons begin already. Also, my calling him Vicky begins already.
-Haha, Burke is close-lipped on the Lecavalier possibilities. Uh, again.
-I don't know what I like better, the sexy fluent French or the comically awful French.
3. Matt Duchene to Colorado Avalanche. Durr. Now the draft becomes interesting. Ish.
-By the way, I've been lifting weights for the duration of the draft so far. Now that I've finished my reps, I'm going to commence drinking for the duration of the draft. Whooo!
-Oh man, Matt Duchene knows the specs on everyone's sticks. Like, Joe Sakic uses an Easton [something] with a slight curve. Holy shit, he has skyrocketed up my sweet players list -- nobody appreciates encyclopedic knowledge like me.
4. Evander Kane to Atlanta Thrashers. He and his family are the only black people in the entire Bell Centre, and before you ask, yes, he is named after Evander Holyfield. On the other hand, his last name is auspicious. Just gotta keep his ears away from Jarkko Ruutu. Holy SHIT he's got a nice body, please keep showing us training clips TSN.
-Please let Brayden Schenn go to Toronto. I'm a sucker for brothers on the same team (Sedins, Niedermayers).
5. Brayden Schenn to LA Kings. :/ Luke Schenn also went 5th overall. Brian Burke is BIG sadface. So am I.
-BJ's and Isles... swap picks? Is that all? Are the Islanders going to demand sexual favours at a later date? Also, JayBouw still up in the air, and Burkie (oh man did I just type that?) wants this to shift Kaberle. Okay, BJ trades some picks this year for some picks next year. I like the sexual favours idea better... even if it does have to involve the GMs.
-Someone else is trying to buy the Coyotes. Wayne's brother looks JUST like him (Wayne took a raincheck on this event). I can't decide if Canadian accents are still cute/hilarious or just getting annoying.
6. Oliver Ekman-Larsson to Phoenix Coyotes. As a Swedish d-man, he is also being compared to Nik Lidstrom, though it's being qualified with "poor man's" unlike Hedman.
-The Make-Beliefs are up next. I really want them to pick Magnus Pääjärvi-Svensson because, hello, his name is Magnus Pääjärvi-Svensson. All those umlauts are already making me horny, imagine that on the back of a Leafs jersey.
-The Leafs are getting booed heartily because they're in Montreal. WELL SUCK IT HABS I HATE YOU. CAREY PRICE!!
7. Nazem Kadri to Toronto Maple Leafs. I have not heard about this guy. Oh wait, yes I have. It's the ethnic guy! Did not see that coming. I hear he's wildly inconsistent. And Lebanese.
-Oh man, Burkie just fucked over Ottawa's GM Bryan Murray and Murray looked like a little bitch. Way to go Burkie, you're great. MAN this booing is getting annoying. Suck it Habs the Maple Leafs are more profitable than you even though they suck cock (all they can get).
-OH SHIT KADRI'S FAVOURITE TEAM WAS THE CANADIENS. SUCK IT BABY. Enjoy being a Maple Leaf.
-So after this I don't have a vested interest in the draft. I'm interested but not interested enough to force it upon other people. I'm gonna keep my ears open for Magnus Pääjärvi-Svensson and then when we get to the teams I care about I'll make a note. Or trades. Trades interst the fuck outta me. Are we planning on dumping anyone? Off the toppa my head, Kozzy to KHL, Feds to KHL- holy shit this kid is adorable. Who's he going to, the Stars? What a cutey pie. Most of these dudes were born in 1990, I think, which- ack! Next year they'll be YOUNGER than me! :O
-Kozzy and Feds to KHL, hear we're negotiating with Johnson which could mean dumping Theodore (noooooo) and we're possibly dumping Tricky Mickey Nylander (PLEASE). Also, nothing real, but amongst my hockey friends we're chucking around Semin's name to go somewhere else as a franchise player -- but not this year. Man I don't want him to go.
-Still nothing on Dany Heatley. Snooze.
-Aww, Ryan Ellis is a cutey but he's got terrible acne. THESE GUYS ARE SO YOUNG.
-Holy shit Magnus Pääjärvi-Svensson is six months younger than me. Victor Hedman is two months younger than me. Seriously, this never stops weirding me out. Every time I see a 1991 birthdate I start hyperventilating a little.
-"The Oilers did pretty well with Europeans in the 80s." No, the Oilers did pretty well with Wayne Fucking Gretzky in the 80s. Okay, so Gretzky was fucking gay for Jari Kurri but still, had he been on a team of American Indians the Oilers still would have been fucking great.
-I've only had two beers. Is that enough to make me swear this much?
10. Magnus Pääjärvi-Svensson to Edmonton Oilers. What a gay name. Oilers, I mean. Holy shit this guy has got a babyface. I'm always weirded out when people my age or younger look way older than me, but this kid def looks younger than me. (Is that why I think he's so cute? God damn do I love baby-faced Swedes.) Apparently he's one of the fastest skaters of this draft. Cool.
-This dude DeHaan just went for way earlier than he should have. What happened to Kulikov? Did Grapes scare people out of picking Russians?
-Let's see some more tongue action outta Pronger. Way to go with the highlights TSN. Also from what Prongs is saying I hope to see some Scott Niedermayer/Pronger slash out there. Yeah I guess the man fits on the Broad Street Bullies but Luuuuupes.
-Awww, this Ashton kid looks nervous to the point of nausea.
14. Dmitri Kulikov to the Florida Panthers. Finally the Russian. I love Russians, and why the hell did he not go before this. Besides the NHL hating Russians.
-Okay, so that's ridiculous to say. Obvs they don't, they give out MVP trophies out like candy, exclusively to Russians (Ovechkin, Malkin, Datsyuk ad nauseam), but there's still some prejudice. I'm just gonna go ahead and blame Don Cherry, but only because I can't find a reason to blame Bettman.
-I think some of the announcers have been drinking. I'm not joking. This one guy is slurring and laughing inappropriately, and a couple of these guys keep stumbling over their words.
-What's up with these faggy cage-style masks these kids are wearing? Be a man and suffer a broken fucking nose every once in a while.
-I still don't believe Dany Heatley is going anywhere. Keep in mind he wants to be traded and he's got a beef with the coach, so I hope he has to stay in Ottawa, the little shit.
-Hey, why was Anaheim so high in the draft? Was it because they were 8th in the playoffs? But fuck, Pitt was 4th and they've got last pick in the first round - I kinda assumed that was because they won the Stanley Cup. Shouldn't the Sharks have a pick before them, since they got fucking trounced, even though they won the President's Trophy? I guess it's a combination of end of season standings and then postseason performance, but I still think some other teams should've had the pick before Anaheim, like St. Louis or Columbus or the Canadiens - in fact, the Canadiens were 8th in their conference and got swept in the first round, surely that means they should've picked higher than a team also 8th in their conference that was able to beat the Pres Trophy winner and hang for 7 games with the fucking Red Wings. I guess this is me proving I'm not that knowledgeable about sports? :/ Or maybe it's just the Gary Bettman Wheel of Randomness at work again.
-Haha, the Canadiens picked a French-Canadian -- in fact the first French-Canadian to go in this draft. And he is also rocking the fag-cage. Oh holy shit he's going to Harvard next year. Maybe I should keep an eye out for this kid. Wait, what? He would cry when they lost? No wonder he wears the fag-cage, he is a goddamn fag (well obvs he's from Montreal). I probably shouldn't have anything else to drink.
-Oh no, the Rangers two years ago drafted the Russian phenom who died in Jagr's arms this season. Does it seem callous to anyone else that they got a "compensatory pick" for him in the second round? The poor kid's wikipedia article is fucking heartbreaking... is that callous too?
-CSN has been airing Caps games -- I caught NYR game 5 (sweet because it had Matt Bradley getting 2 goals and Torts threatening a fan getting him kicked out for next game -- was treated as a small incident during the game but ended up getting him a game suspension), but apparently tonight they showed NYR game 7 which has Fedorov's gorgeous GWG and I'm so pissed I missed it. God Feds, I love you so fucking much. I'm so sad you're leaving.
-Have I mentioned lately I hate Gary Bettman? Nothing's prompting this, just felt like saying it. His face just makes me angry. Also way to go GMGM with not doing anything. Er. I guess. This is like trade dadline all over again. At least we're not trading anything dumb but I'm getting a little antsy.
-"That was the main reason we took him, knowing that it would totally piss off Burkie. It was worth it." Please tell me this is an actual quote from LA's GM. Please pleaseme.
-The Canucks have their plates full: Luongo, Sedin twins, Sundin, Ohlund -- luckily they've still got Wellwood to take care of any full plate issues. (LOL Kyle Wellwood is fat joke)
-Whoa, Jordan Schroeder was ranked at 5 and went at 22. Poor kid. The Canucks' GM seems to think the Sedins will still be here come Canada Day. Sundin, don't think so.
-Things that crack me up: seeing these draft kids with terrible acne; hearing the drunk announcers say "Mahk Messh-ya"; watching these kids nervously get through their first foreign-language interviews; seeing Canadian ads (Scotiabank, Tim Hortons, Super 8). Has Brian Burke been grabbing some European courage too?
Fucking finally the Washington Capitals are up. Mentioning Carlson, Green, Schultz, Varlamov: all went in this time frame. More interesting, since this dude won't be ready for prime time for a few years, is our contract situation. Hey, it's GMGM! Way to go baby, he doesn't bother with any bullshit about yay Montreal or Pittsburgh, he just walks up there and says "Washington Capitals draft Marcus Johansson." And this kid looks great in a Caps sweater, plus no acne visible even in crystal-clear high definition. The (drunk) announcers give us some props re: the Bears; they mention the last Swede we drafted (Nicky Backstrom, who is half of the reason I go into hockey); then a different dude who is audibly slurring his words mentions Backie again. Have I just never noticed these guys drinking before?
-Oh TSN punning: some stats with the header "Swede-hearts." Johansson is the 7th Swede drafted in the first round this year, which is high. I think the record is 8.
-Great to hear Burke bitching to his, uh, lackey?; great to hear the Montreal crowd booing the Bruins.
-Canes just drafted a dude who a) was ranked 40th and b) wears glasses. How does that even work? I mean I guess he has to wear contacts on the ice but it's weird as hell to me.
-So Detroit and San Jose aren't picking in the first round. Detroit just traded their 29 pick to Tampa who drafted Carter Ashton, who did not throw up (as far as I can tell).
-So the Nationals are about to become the Pittsburgh Penguins: Pens drafted #1 three fucking times in a row, one of which they didn't deserve because of the lock-out, wherease the Nats just suck so much dick they're gonna get Strasbourg and Harper. Anyway I bring it up because Pitt just picked 30th ending the first round and meaning I can finally take a goddamn shower. Holy shit I went to spin class yesterday and I had a bike ride today and my ass is sore as hell.
-Official results are here.
Shit, I wonder if I'll ever do that again.
Things to look forward to: is Sidney Crosby the Raiden of the NHL?; discussing/speculating the Capitals free agents; Canada Day!
Holy shit guys I am a nervous wreck about the NHL draft. My hockey-philistine thoughts read pick with # and between round trades with -.
-Kaberle-for-Kessel fell through, and looks like nobody wants Heatley. Still no word on JayBouw. 90% sure Feds is going to the KHL -- I'm holding on to that 10% like a drowning man clinging to a piece of driftwood because when it's official I am going to weep buckets. No idea who we're gonna pick up, but Varlamov was 26th-ish, that's happy. On the other hand Datsyuk and Zetterberg were like 5th round 200th picks and look at them (HoFers).
-It warms my heart to hear Gary Bettman get booed. :D
1. John Tavares to New York Islanders. Not terribly surprised.
-But Lupul and Sbisa and 2 first round picks to Anaheim for Pronger and some guy named Dingle? Nooooo Lupes. And Sbisa is an adorable Italian boy. I like Pronger in Anaheim, boohoo. *tries not to show Flyers fanishness but can't fucking help it, I like the Flyers >P* Talk about lopsided, even if I'm not being pseudo-homery.
2. Victor Hedman to Tampa Bay Lightning. A 6'6" Swedish defenseman? Sign me up. Yum. Uh, I mean, good pick Tampa. :/ Lidstrom comparisons begin already. Also, my calling him Vicky begins already.
-Haha, Burke is close-lipped on the Lecavalier possibilities. Uh, again.
-I don't know what I like better, the sexy fluent French or the comically awful French.
3. Matt Duchene to Colorado Avalanche. Durr. Now the draft becomes interesting. Ish.
-By the way, I've been lifting weights for the duration of the draft so far. Now that I've finished my reps, I'm going to commence drinking for the duration of the draft. Whooo!
-Oh man, Matt Duchene knows the specs on everyone's sticks. Like, Joe Sakic uses an Easton [something] with a slight curve. Holy shit, he has skyrocketed up my sweet players list -- nobody appreciates encyclopedic knowledge like me.
4. Evander Kane to Atlanta Thrashers. He and his family are the only black people in the entire Bell Centre, and before you ask, yes, he is named after Evander Holyfield. On the other hand, his last name is auspicious. Just gotta keep his ears away from Jarkko Ruutu. Holy SHIT he's got a nice body, please keep showing us training clips TSN.
-Please let Brayden Schenn go to Toronto. I'm a sucker for brothers on the same team (Sedins, Niedermayers).
5. Brayden Schenn to LA Kings. :/ Luke Schenn also went 5th overall. Brian Burke is BIG sadface. So am I.
-BJ's and Isles... swap picks? Is that all? Are the Islanders going to demand sexual favours at a later date? Also, JayBouw still up in the air, and Burkie (oh man did I just type that?) wants this to shift Kaberle. Okay, BJ trades some picks this year for some picks next year. I like the sexual favours idea better... even if it does have to involve the GMs.
-Someone else is trying to buy the Coyotes. Wayne's brother looks JUST like him (Wayne took a raincheck on this event). I can't decide if Canadian accents are still cute/hilarious or just getting annoying.
6. Oliver Ekman-Larsson to Phoenix Coyotes. As a Swedish d-man, he is also being compared to Nik Lidstrom, though it's being qualified with "poor man's" unlike Hedman.
-The Make-Beliefs are up next. I really want them to pick Magnus Pääjärvi-Svensson because, hello, his name is Magnus Pääjärvi-Svensson. All those umlauts are already making me horny, imagine that on the back of a Leafs jersey.
-The Leafs are getting booed heartily because they're in Montreal. WELL SUCK IT HABS I HATE YOU. CAREY PRICE!!
7. Nazem Kadri to Toronto Maple Leafs. I have not heard about this guy. Oh wait, yes I have. It's the ethnic guy! Did not see that coming. I hear he's wildly inconsistent. And Lebanese.
-Oh man, Burkie just fucked over Ottawa's GM Bryan Murray and Murray looked like a little bitch. Way to go Burkie, you're great. MAN this booing is getting annoying. Suck it Habs the Maple Leafs are more profitable than you even though they suck cock (all they can get).
-OH SHIT KADRI'S FAVOURITE TEAM WAS THE CANADIENS. SUCK IT BABY. Enjoy being a Maple Leaf.
-So after this I don't have a vested interest in the draft. I'm interested but not interested enough to force it upon other people. I'm gonna keep my ears open for Magnus Pääjärvi-Svensson and then when we get to the teams I care about I'll make a note. Or trades. Trades interst the fuck outta me. Are we planning on dumping anyone? Off the toppa my head, Kozzy to KHL, Feds to KHL- holy shit this kid is adorable. Who's he going to, the Stars? What a cutey pie. Most of these dudes were born in 1990, I think, which- ack! Next year they'll be YOUNGER than me! :O
-Kozzy and Feds to KHL, hear we're negotiating with Johnson which could mean dumping Theodore (noooooo) and we're possibly dumping Tricky Mickey Nylander (PLEASE). Also, nothing real, but amongst my hockey friends we're chucking around Semin's name to go somewhere else as a franchise player -- but not this year. Man I don't want him to go.
-Still nothing on Dany Heatley. Snooze.
-Aww, Ryan Ellis is a cutey but he's got terrible acne. THESE GUYS ARE SO YOUNG.
-Holy shit Magnus Pääjärvi-Svensson is six months younger than me. Victor Hedman is two months younger than me. Seriously, this never stops weirding me out. Every time I see a 1991 birthdate I start hyperventilating a little.
-"The Oilers did pretty well with Europeans in the 80s." No, the Oilers did pretty well with Wayne Fucking Gretzky in the 80s. Okay, so Gretzky was fucking gay for Jari Kurri but still, had he been on a team of American Indians the Oilers still would have been fucking great.
-I've only had two beers. Is that enough to make me swear this much?
10. Magnus Pääjärvi-Svensson to Edmonton Oilers. What a gay name. Oilers, I mean. Holy shit this guy has got a babyface. I'm always weirded out when people my age or younger look way older than me, but this kid def looks younger than me. (Is that why I think he's so cute? God damn do I love baby-faced Swedes.) Apparently he's one of the fastest skaters of this draft. Cool.
-This dude DeHaan just went for way earlier than he should have. What happened to Kulikov? Did Grapes scare people out of picking Russians?
-Let's see some more tongue action outta Pronger. Way to go with the highlights TSN. Also from what Prongs is saying I hope to see some Scott Niedermayer/Pronger slash out there. Yeah I guess the man fits on the Broad Street Bullies but Luuuuupes.
-Awww, this Ashton kid looks nervous to the point of nausea.
14. Dmitri Kulikov to the Florida Panthers. Finally the Russian. I love Russians, and why the hell did he not go before this. Besides the NHL hating Russians.
-Okay, so that's ridiculous to say. Obvs they don't, they give out MVP trophies out like candy, exclusively to Russians (Ovechkin, Malkin, Datsyuk ad nauseam), but there's still some prejudice. I'm just gonna go ahead and blame Don Cherry, but only because I can't find a reason to blame Bettman.
-I think some of the announcers have been drinking. I'm not joking. This one guy is slurring and laughing inappropriately, and a couple of these guys keep stumbling over their words.
-What's up with these faggy cage-style masks these kids are wearing? Be a man and suffer a broken fucking nose every once in a while.
-I still don't believe Dany Heatley is going anywhere. Keep in mind he wants to be traded and he's got a beef with the coach, so I hope he has to stay in Ottawa, the little shit.
-Hey, why was Anaheim so high in the draft? Was it because they were 8th in the playoffs? But fuck, Pitt was 4th and they've got last pick in the first round - I kinda assumed that was because they won the Stanley Cup. Shouldn't the Sharks have a pick before them, since they got fucking trounced, even though they won the President's Trophy? I guess it's a combination of end of season standings and then postseason performance, but I still think some other teams should've had the pick before Anaheim, like St. Louis or Columbus or the Canadiens - in fact, the Canadiens were 8th in their conference and got swept in the first round, surely that means they should've picked higher than a team also 8th in their conference that was able to beat the Pres Trophy winner and hang for 7 games with the fucking Red Wings. I guess this is me proving I'm not that knowledgeable about sports? :/ Or maybe it's just the Gary Bettman Wheel of Randomness at work again.
-Haha, the Canadiens picked a French-Canadian -- in fact the first French-Canadian to go in this draft. And he is also rocking the fag-cage. Oh holy shit he's going to Harvard next year. Maybe I should keep an eye out for this kid. Wait, what? He would cry when they lost? No wonder he wears the fag-cage, he is a goddamn fag (well obvs he's from Montreal). I probably shouldn't have anything else to drink.
-Oh no, the Rangers two years ago drafted the Russian phenom who died in Jagr's arms this season. Does it seem callous to anyone else that they got a "compensatory pick" for him in the second round? The poor kid's wikipedia article is fucking heartbreaking... is that callous too?
-CSN has been airing Caps games -- I caught NYR game 5 (sweet because it had Matt Bradley getting 2 goals and Torts threatening a fan getting him kicked out for next game -- was treated as a small incident during the game but ended up getting him a game suspension), but apparently tonight they showed NYR game 7 which has Fedorov's gorgeous GWG and I'm so pissed I missed it. God Feds, I love you so fucking much. I'm so sad you're leaving.
-Have I mentioned lately I hate Gary Bettman? Nothing's prompting this, just felt like saying it. His face just makes me angry. Also way to go GMGM with not doing anything. Er. I guess. This is like trade dadline all over again. At least we're not trading anything dumb but I'm getting a little antsy.
-"That was the main reason we took him, knowing that it would totally piss off Burkie. It was worth it." Please tell me this is an actual quote from LA's GM. Please please
-The Canucks have their plates full: Luongo, Sedin twins, Sundin, Ohlund -- luckily they've still got Wellwood to take care of any full plate issues. (LOL Kyle Wellwood is fat joke)
-Whoa, Jordan Schroeder was ranked at 5 and went at 22. Poor kid. The Canucks' GM seems to think the Sedins will still be here come Canada Day. Sundin, don't think so.
-Things that crack me up: seeing these draft kids with terrible acne; hearing the drunk announcers say "Mahk Messh-ya"; watching these kids nervously get through their first foreign-language interviews; seeing Canadian ads (Scotiabank, Tim Hortons, Super 8). Has Brian Burke been grabbing some European courage too?
Fucking finally the Washington Capitals are up. Mentioning Carlson, Green, Schultz, Varlamov: all went in this time frame. More interesting, since this dude won't be ready for prime time for a few years, is our contract situation. Hey, it's GMGM! Way to go baby, he doesn't bother with any bullshit about yay Montreal or Pittsburgh, he just walks up there and says "Washington Capitals draft Marcus Johansson." And this kid looks great in a Caps sweater, plus no acne visible even in crystal-clear high definition. The (drunk) announcers give us some props re: the Bears; they mention the last Swede we drafted (Nicky Backstrom, who is half of the reason I go into hockey); then a different dude who is audibly slurring his words mentions Backie again. Have I just never noticed these guys drinking before?
-Oh TSN punning: some stats with the header "Swede-hearts." Johansson is the 7th Swede drafted in the first round this year, which is high. I think the record is 8.
-Great to hear Burke bitching to his, uh, lackey?; great to hear the Montreal crowd booing the Bruins.
-Canes just drafted a dude who a) was ranked 40th and b) wears glasses. How does that even work? I mean I guess he has to wear contacts on the ice but it's weird as hell to me.
-So Detroit and San Jose aren't picking in the first round. Detroit just traded their 29 pick to Tampa who drafted Carter Ashton, who did not throw up (as far as I can tell).
-So the Nationals are about to become the Pittsburgh Penguins: Pens drafted #1 three fucking times in a row, one of which they didn't deserve because of the lock-out, wherease the Nats just suck so much dick they're gonna get Strasbourg and Harper. Anyway I bring it up because Pitt just picked 30th ending the first round and meaning I can finally take a goddamn shower. Holy shit I went to spin class yesterday and I had a bike ride today and my ass is sore as hell.
-Official results are here.
Shit, I wonder if I'll ever do that again.
Things to look forward to: is Sidney Crosby the Raiden of the NHL?; discussing/speculating the Capitals free agents; Canada Day!
