hello darkness my old friend
Happy 4th of July! Unfortunately this holiday is not as exciting as Canada Day. All the same, I enjoy a good dose of patriotism. I love my country and couldn't imagine being from any other. I wonder how important it is to who I am? That is, if I were British or German or Russian or Japanese, would I still be fundamentally me?

That's a weird tangent. But not as weird as this one, which I thought of while playing tennis today, and lost a point because I was laughing so hard.

If I were to pick up Phil "One-Ball" Kessel (suggested line: "We have the same birthday. Wanna fuck?"), what's the protocol re: testicles? Is he supposed to assume that I've heard? (If I went with that line then clearly I'm a big enough fan to have heard the news.) Or should he warn me first? What if I wanted to blow him? How do you bring that up in conversation? I'm unzipping his pants, and he blurts out "Uh, I only have one ball. It's- there's nothing wrong down there. I mean, besides the obvious. It's normal. Uh. I'm okay." Is that what happens? Do you think he deals with this in real life? I hafta say, if I thought there was something unsually wrong with my body (aside from the fact that I'm grotesque), I would worry about it and obsess about it and panic: do I bring it up? Should I wait for them to say something? Will it freak them out? Should I just put a kibosh on all the proceedings? I guess it has to do with how self-conscious you are. So, um. Deep thoughts.

Uh. Phil Kessel is an American. So that's pretty cool.

Hey! Today is Mike Knuble's birthday! Happy birthday baby, I hope you enjoy your tenure here in our beloved nation's capital! How convenient!