Extraordinary and oh-so-cool
Elapsed time it took to get from 'German speaking experience' to 'hockey ramble' in my German essay: One and a half paragraphs. As soon as I wrote "I can understand German well enough to watch a hockey game" it was all over. Boom goes the dynamite. "The Haie suck and lost against every KHL team they played but they're doing well in the DEL, they beat the Roosters and the Ice Tigers, so hopefully even though they came in second-to-last last season they'll improve this year, we just have to wait and see what happens against some of the good teams like the Eisbären!!"

Basically I wrote a German essay that goes like this:

"I like German. I have studied it a long time. I like languages. I want to major in German and minor in Linguistics. I'm taking Russian.

I am scared of speaking and writing German, but I understand it well enough to watch sports. Like hockey. [Lucid and fluent comments on die Kölner Haie and DEL.]

I want to learn German better in this class."

Ways to improve my German: have me write about something I give a shit about. Like hockey.

Why hasn't the season started yet?!

Edit: From an interview with Evgeni Malkin:

Dmitry Chesnokov: What will you give Crosby as a [birthday] present?

Malkin: What do you mean "what"? Me, of course!

WHAT.